So I did the big commute yesterday.  For those not of the valley(s), it is pretty much a straight shot north-south, so if the wind is blowing the wrong way, which it always is, I am pretty much hosed for two hours straight.  And so it was yesterday, I was hammering along trying to make it home at a decent hour.  I got caught at a light, feeling pretty dorky track standing with my backpack on and everything.  That’s when it started…

“Nice ass!”

“Hell yeah!”

I take a look under my shoulder and see a car full of young ladies full of encouragement for me.  It’s a pretty long light, so I am balancing there (please don’t fall over, please don’t fall over, please don’t fall over) all the while these girls are going crazy with cat calls, etc.  The light finally changes and they continue to heap “praise” upon me as they go past ending with:

“You can ride ME”

This in the uber-conservative hotbed of Utah County.  Nice. 

Please don’t take this the wrong way.  I realize that I am not so exceptionally good looking that girls just can’t help but scream out at the sight of me, and that this is just one of those things that happens when it gets warm enough to drive with the windows down, and young ladies get together.  Still, it is nice to know that one still has “it”- to the degree that one ever had “it”.

So, what am I getting at?  I don’t really know.  I will say, ladies-if you want to brighten a guy’s day- this is an excellent way to do so.  You don’t have to be so crass as these particular young ladies (though it doesn’t hurt), but a little encouragement goes a long way.


19 thoughts on “Awesomeness

  1. Woah, it just got even better? I am just going to start making stuff up now! Did I mention I got flashed on my drive in this morning?

  2. Been there, done that.

    My favorite was also at a stoplight. A car full of young ladies pull up and start giggling and commenting. Then one asks “What school do you go to?”

    I had to answer “My daughter goes to Murray High.” Technically, she’s still in jr high, but I wanted to creep the girls out a little by making the spandex-clad object of their lust appear even older.

  3. I hear the school has a sweet seminary program through the Church of the Big Ring.

    I’m more into the mellow services found at the Granny Gear Fellowship and Knitting Circle.

  4. Sometimes you gotta stab someone in the eye, you know what I’m saying?
    I can’t even comment on the second one. To those who would classify Utah as “boring”, go ahead and click those links.

  5. That is total irony… just the other day I was at a stop light and a bunch of honey’s were yelling to me “hey, you’re an ass!” And I wasn’t even in track stand…

  6. I had a girl lean out of her window and slap me on the ass once.
    I was not as amused.

    But, then again I don’t have your sweet can.

  7. This is like back in the day (you know, last summer) when I’d get 20 comments on one post.
    Anyway, yeah, physically touching someone from a car is pretty much a no-no. And before you say it, yes, I am otherwise a fan of “physical touching”.

  8. I dunno, I think Piotrek supported the theory of existing tricepts, and since you love “physical touching” AND “smacking so hard” I’m thinking your triceps are HIGHLY developed.

    Wait, that sounds VERY wrong…

  9. You bet. Just as serious as the guys in the big F-350 in the WVC last night as I rolled home from the crit with a teammate.

    They screamed something about our fine looking asses, too.

    If they’re comfortable with admitting that find my butt attractive, I suppose the chicks are free to make the same observations.

  10. Serious is as serious does. One of them yelled “Turbo sign this” as she held a copy of “The Hard Road” out the car window.

  11. I think Turbo is at an age where the line between compliment and ridicule starts to get blurred. It really caught me off-guard. These days I just call them little perverts, take their license plate down, and threaten to call their parents. Yup, it’s scary.

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