Not the best ebay ad ever (that title still goes to the Krieg selling all of his cycling belongings after the Gila a few years back), but definitely a good one.
I’ll post something about the crit titles eventually.
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STRAIGHT OUTTA PROVO 
“Do you recall which Olsen twin? And if I buy it, do you think I’ll be able to bang the other one?
– me”
“I’m certain he was banging the skinny one.
– ebay seller”