Utah Census Form

Just came in mailbox: 

Utah Census Form

 1. _____________________ (Given name)

2. _____________________ (SURNAME)

3.Descendant of:

A. Brigham Young _____

B. Heber C. Kimball _____

C. Laman and Lemuel _____

D. Cain _____

4. Tribe of Israel: _____________________

5. Number of occupants residing in home in each category: (Listed in chronological order)

A. Nursery _____

B. Junior Primary _____

C. Senior Primary _____

D. Young Women’s _____

E. Young Men’s _____

F. Relief Society _____

G. Elder _____

H. Dearly Departed _____

I. High Priest _____

6. Occupation [Please select all that apply.]:

A. Amway dealer _____

B. Shaklee dealer _____

C. Noni juice dealer _____

D. NuSkin dealer _____

E. Melaleuca dealer _____

7. Automobile:

A. Station Wagon _____

B. Van _____

C. Suburban _____

D. School Bus _____

E. Double Decker _____

8. Favorite place to eat the night before Fast Sunday:

A. Chuck-A-Rama _____

B. Hometown Buffet _____

C. Sumo Sam’s All You Can Eat Feeding Trough _____

9. Favorite Hero:

A. Nephi _____

B. Abinadi _____

C. Samuel the Lamanite_____

D. Steve Young _____

E. Johnny Lingo _____

10. Which of the following do you bring to church [Check all that apply.]:

A. Scriptures _____

B. Franklin Planner/ Daytimer _____

C. Pen/Pencil _____

D. Lifesavers/ Cheerios _____

E. Tic Tacs _____

F. Game Boy _____

G. Big Gulp _____

H. Cooler _____

I. Sony Walkman _____

J. TV Watch _____

K. All of the above _____

11. Do you prepare your church lessons:

A. A month in advance _____

B. A week in advance _____

C. While in the bathtub _____

D. While on the toilet _____

 E. During Sacrament Meeting _____

F. During the closing prayer of Sacrament Meeting

G. During the opening prayer of the class you’re teaching _____

H. Just wing it [according to the promptings of the Spirit] _____

12. Do you think pews should be permanently equipped with Big Gulp holders?: yes___

no ___

13. How many years has your family sat in the same place for Sacrament Meeting:

A. 10-20 years _____

B. 20-30 years _____

 C. 30-40 years _____

D. Over 3 generations _____

14. How much time does it take for you to fall asleep during a high council talk: A. 1/100,000,000th of a second _____

B. 1/999,999,999th of a second _____

C. 1/999,999,998th of a second _____

15. Which day of the month do you go home/visiting teaching:

 A. 31st ______

B. 31st ______

C. 31st ______

D. 31st ______

16. How many church basketball fights were you in last year:

A. 1-10 _____

B. 10-20 _____

C. 20-30 _____

D. You’ll have to ask my lawyer. _____

17. Which of the following has been your most effective Family Home Evening:

A. Arguing about getting along.

B. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner.

 C. Gathering around the television to watch, “Everybody Loves Raymond?”

18. How many times a year do you make:

A. Green Jell-O salad _____

B. Funeral potatoes _____

C. Cabbage and Top Ramen salad _____

 D. Turkey-, cashew- and grape-stuffed croissants_____

19. How many water-filled two-liter bottles do you own:

A. 1-2 thousand _____

B. 2-3 thousand _____

C. 3-4 thousand _____

D. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake _____

20. Which of the following do you feel is the most secure facility in the nation:

A. Alcatraz

B. Fort Knox

C. Ward Libraries

21. How many structural engineers do you hire annually to insure you’ll win the pinewood derby: _________

22. Keeping the Word of Wisdom in mind, how much of the following do you consume:

A. Chocolate:___ pounds daily X 365 days annually= ____

B. Cola: ____gallons daily X 365 days annually = ____

23. If you had to choose between witnessing the Second Coming or attending a BYU/ U of U football game, which would you choose?

A. Second Coming _____

B. Football game _____

These things I say in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!


In Non-Doping News…

Bryson is trying to talk me into racing dirt bikes on Monday.  That would be tight, yo, but I need a bike that works. 

Alright Aldag and Zabel…and Papp

Way to step up.

Yeah, they are readers, and I’m sure they’ll see this.

It’s weird that sponsors are talking about dumping the sport.  I look at all this crap as a step in the right direction. 

On that note, the whole Joe Papp admission was pretty weird.  He always seemed like a pretty good rider who could probably get on a team if he didn’t have a reputation for being a douchebag.  I don’t know the guy at all, but that was pretty much all that I ever heard of him and even if you are pretty good at biking, nobody wants to travel all over with a douchebag. 

I wasn’t surprised to hear he was on test., because lots of guys are, but the epo, hormones, et al surprised me.  I just think you’d be better than he ever was doing all that. 

Anyway, yeah, it was after he got popped and he probably would’ve kept living a lie, but it’s good that he came out with it.  Where’d he get the money for that stuff anyway?

It makes you wonder how many guys are doing something.  I can tell you there are guys doing stuff that aren’t good at all.  Can you imagine?  Anyway, for the record, I have never done anything harder than Monster Energy Drink, but we could probably all deduce that by now.


all my troubles seemed so far away…

Aeolus was on my side and I rocked a tailwind both ways.  That could lead a guy to commuting more often, but when the wind gods decide to punish me it will be less pleasant.

Yesterday was pretty much the best work day ever.  Mostly because the working part was minimal.  The Specialized ride was cool.  The roads over there suck, though.  Totally industrial.  Reminds me of riding from Long Beach out to Palos Verdes except without the payoff at the end.  Those guys hammer though, so that part is good.

In other news, go to Sleevie’s site and read up.  I seriously worry about the two of them, but am super glad that the soon-to-be Mrs. Sleevie is (relatively) okay.  Avoid Moab like the plague you two!!

Bike to Work Day

So, it’s bike to work week.  Since I started working for a bike company I have been sucking pretty bad at commuting, which is kinda sad.  What with my current schedule I need to leave the casa by 5 to ride in.  That’s 5am, gang.  Yeah, I know I am a slacker and I waste upwards of 7 hours a day on sleep.  Anyway, Specialized is having an industry wide contest for longest commute with the winner getting an iPod.  Being motivated by the thought of toys I am going for it tommorrow.  I think I have a special dispensation to be late, but if it goes good I might try doing it one day a week.  That is how I will stick it to the (gas) man.  We’ll see though, I like sleep.  Plus, it would alter my current 1 hour a day whether-I-need-it-or-not training program.